K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
