You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
