I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
