Swine flu. Run for my life!
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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