soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
