Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
