I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My vagina just clenched in fear
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
