you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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