Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i drank out of a bidet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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