Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
