Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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