New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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