Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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