id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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