Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
