Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
