People in love make me want to vomit
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
