I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize