Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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