Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
