Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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