I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
