just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
