: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
