Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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