you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
