i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
