Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need to sanitize my soul.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize