Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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