Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
