I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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