Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
