I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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