so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if only i could text you this smell
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
