i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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