so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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