and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
