He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
