she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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