Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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