Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
