I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
