his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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