had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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