He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
