Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
