the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
