There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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