end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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