It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
