Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
