your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize