I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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