Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
