Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
