just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
