I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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