Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
