he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
