There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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