Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
