How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
