I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
