Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
