I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
