I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
